Dentist’s!!
26.11.2013
Having had issues of the dental kind of late brought to mind my absolute fear and loathing of dentists. Not saying they aren’t lovely folk they just decided on a most macabre yet very lucrative career path. When I was six I bit the finger of the local dentist and run up the street, chased by my mortified mother and a very cranky man with blood dripping from his hand. This incident was burned into my mind and really should have foretold of my future lacking in regular dentistry. Though I did have a spot of luck in the early eighties while living in the country, I consulted an amazing dentist who managed to give me that winning smile without too much struggle. On moving to the city and buoyed with confidence after my country experience I sort to once again test the land of dental hygienists. This of course was a mistake I was co-opted into a root canal for what I’m not too sure, the only canal it made was in my bank balance. Driven back into my dentist free world, I carried on for many years, until confronted with a crisp, delicious apple, which rendered one of my already weak teeth completely bite less. Once again, I summoned up the courage took out a personal loan and sort professional help. The whole episode went a bit like this.
I arrived at 11am for a filling and a routine extraction.
The filling went well, no problems all over by 10 past eleven, then the dentist a thin not a very tall young woman approached the tooth, how long do you think it will take I mumbled thought numb lips and cheeks, oh depends but should not be too long. So she embarked on the extraction process as the time ticked by she managed to break off the decayed part of the tooth above the gum line, I was thinking gee that was quick. Little did I expect her to say well that’s the broken bit and it looks like we will have to take the roots out one at a time, roots I muttered, oh yes there are three, this made me tighten every muscle in my body. So on we went, and then on some more I needed to have more anesthetic and she needed more tools, the dental nurse left the room 5 times to retrieve more tools from the shed, each time she returned the tools were bigger and bigger.
At this point I wanted to say so you don’t think a piece of string and a door knob will do any good then? The only problem was my mouth was so full of tools I could not speak, I was beginning to think she would need to go out onto the main road and grab the first burly bloke she saw to give her a hand. As she pulled, pushed, tugged and ripped she was patting me on the shoulder saying you are doing well should not be too much longer (ha ha) I thought. My muscles were still so clenched that they were starting to ache sweat from my constantly furrowed brow was running into my eyes, the dentist sweat was dripping onto my arms, I could not look into her eyes as her distress was compounding my terror the dental nurse was holding my head, mopping all our brows and sucking out the blood all at the same time very talented being able to do all those things at once however she could not manage to hide her ever increasing anguish at the happenings before her, when the dentist asked her to procure more tools she bolted from the room like a deer running from a lion this did not inspire me. On and on the poor dentist went delving deeper and deeper into my jaw grunting, groaning and sighing until the first root pulled free, thank ‘god’ I thought ‘goodo’ she said not quite the same really. More anesthetic and she pressed on after who knows how long another root dropped into the tray last one she said her confidence was returning, beauty that sounds like it won’t be long now, I was beginning to ponder how much more I could stand not much because I needed another jab to get me over the hump. In a pleading yet hopeful voice she asked the nurse do we have a such and such, yes, I think so, I will get it. This was the right response as far as I was concerned as I was starting to feel at that moment the dentist’s grit and determination was at its lowest ebb and the next step may be a scalpel and stitches. The such an such arrived the dentist placed it on the tooth drew in her breath, tensed her shoulders and pulled like buggery she pulled and pulled I felt movement, she felt movement and pulled harder at last she gave a huge sigh (in fact I think she was still holding her breath) and dropped the last offending root into the tray. All my muscles relaxed at once we all smiled well mine was a crooked smile. The dentist then went on like nothing abnormal had taken place, writing me a prescription and telling me how to look after the great gaping hole in my mouth. I looked at my watch, it was 12 noon, 45 long minutes had gone by, I gathered myself went to the waiting room and paid the account, feeling like they should give me a discount for all the trauma I had been through.
Needless to say my recent dental issue will not be treated until I can’t stand it anymore and the painkillers are useless. I have decided that I will approach the dentist and speak to him (not going with females anymore) alone without the hovering nurse. I will instruct him to look but don’t touch, then if there is work needed and of course there will be he can make a plan render me unconscious and undertake the repairs. He will only have one shot so he had better give it his all.